Vote with Your Money

March 8th, 2012 § 0 comments § permalink

Starting a movement is awesome. But life has been super crazy lately. Crazy good but crazy busy. With 16 hours of classes and working out on the student farm at TAMU, I haven’t had much time for writing let alone marketing my clothing line adventure 4 One Love. But all is not lost to the winds of time. I have GOOD NEWS:

I got a shout-out on the Shoemoney blog I sent a shirt to. Unfortunately, they think I design like a kindergartener but I’ll take that as a good thing. I need to make more time to send shirts to review blogs and other adventures. Some positives: I have managed to get my shirts in two shops. The first was INDIEpendence Boutique in Columbia, MO. It’s a run by University of Missouri student Kiarah Moore who is amazing. The other store is Northgate Vintage in College Station, Texas. Check out the photos.

 

Vote With Your Money

I view money in the same light as I do voting. We live in a world where our ballots are currency and our leaders are those who get the most votes. Everyday you vote whether you realize it or not.Every fruit you’ve bought. Every shirt you buy. Every gallons of gas. These are votes. You use your money to vote for people along with the services and products they provide. People vote for Apple so consistently that it has become one of the richest companies in the world. That’s why we buy Toms, isn’t it? Because we know that in exchange for a pair of shoes our money has purpose. We know that our vote is doing something to contribute to the less fortunate people of this world. All of the money you spend can make a world of difference.

Think of your money as water. And you can only water so many seeds. If the seed (or product/service) was roughly the same, would you water your friend’s seed or a strangers? Personally, I’d water my friends. I believe in supporting those who are doing good things in the community around me. I believe in spending wisely and making sure I know where my money is going. It’s why I pay a little more to shop at H-E-B because they employ more people and seem to have more ethical practices than a place like walmart. It’s why I buy at the local farmer’s market to keep that money in my community. When we begin to spend locally, within reason, we create wealth not just for others but for ourselves.

Sustainability

Keeping in mind the concept of voting, it becomes apparent that when you think about the whole political spectrum that exists around the globe (and all the problems that come with it), you realize that our politicians will not be the one’s to solve our problems. Hell, most of them can’t even take care of their own dam problems. I see this paradigm shift taking place worldwide and I’ve come to realize that what has to change is the way people live their lives. We have to vote with our money to dictate the course we want our world to take. We have to foster sustainability not only in our environment but in our communities.

One really epic example is a locally produced raw milk vending machine located in south-west France. The machine, a brainchild of Michael Cantaloube, provides milk 24 hour a day. Customers can buy any amount they want, all the time.

Cash Mobs

Voting with your money is about supporting your values and demanding more than just a product from a business. The movement is already under way. I’ve read two stories here and here about cash mob that operate as a group that picks a local business and then buy items to support them. The cash mobs can also be used to demand accountability and sustainability from a business by leveraging group power to say we will support you but only if you change this.

In a way, the store I sell my shirts at Northgate Vintage has their own ‘cash mob’ mentality. Every first thursday of the month, they throw a party with live music, free drinks, and discounted clothes. It is a blast and a really effective way to market because people can chill and browse all in support of the store and friends who work there. It is a win for everyone. Speaking of everybody….

You all have a Voice. So Let Yourself He Heard.

To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men
~Abe Lincoln~

This revolution is about us. It’s not about the billionaires. It’s not about our politicians. It’s about community and the realization that the real power lies with the people of this planet. A man divided can’t get out bed but a group united can turn a world on it’s head. It’s time we all speak our mind and do what we’ve always wanted to do. Life is not for anyone, for anyone but you. So stand up tall and go to the mall, let yourself be heard. You have your voice and a choice, so what will it be?

p.s. i love you 

Love Knows No Bounds

March 3rd, 2012 § 0 comments § permalink

Something you may not know about me is that I love to write poetry. Last night I had a 1 am inspiration session. I call it Love Knows No Bounds.

 

love knows no bounds
it knows no frowns or sad sounds
it only abounds
love only knows love
it overcomes all things
it is all things
it loves all things
it attaches to all things
it is the greatest
it is the most important
it is everything we have
and everything we wish to become
love is the one we seek in each lover
we seek it from our mother
and father
and siblings
but can we know love?
can we be love
can we spread love
as the purity its meant to be
jesus christ
writers and mice
all have spread the word
but can it be real and true
can we live up to its bright hue
as if on cue
and pin the ball in the corner pocket
cherry picking that golden locket
as if the key was hidden in plain view
this love it is rain
it is a rain that doesn’t pour
but overcomes
love is a reign
that no king could ever conquer
it is a power
spread amongst the people
it is divided and equal
it is a power that never corrupts
for love is kind
for love is everthing that is divine
it wishes to be in all things
for love can be greedy
when it is we greet the needy
with open arms
because love has never learned judgement
it remains ignorant and full of bliss
it loves because thats what love does
it has no reason
it is a rhyme that is puzzled by the riddle from which it came
it is a hand reached out to that stranger stranded in the street
it is the smile on that child that you all love to greet
it is that moment when standing in the rain
that you begin to think that pain is but a game
this game were playing
its a chess match and were the pons
moving pieces across the board
punching the clock like the frons
and in the very middle
on the out
and to the side
is the love that’s everywhere
everywhere it can hide
so when you run from it just know
that no matter where you go
your making a circle of a flow
that just wont go
away.
because love is here
love is now
love is life
i can saw wow.
it always cares
it always means
that love is what beams
from your heart.
so please stay true
and love each other like you love yourself
for family comes first
and we are one tribe
so abide by love
and bridge the divide

Y I Love: Vera Bodansky

January 27th, 2012 § 0 comments § permalink

This is an interview with Vera Bodansky. She is a master of pleasure and extended massive orgasms. Check out my last post Sex is Sacred that is about Vera and her husband Steve’s book The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm.

A Little Background

Check out our last book called “Extended Massive Life” A True Love Story and More” available on Amazon kindle. It tells our story in detail.

I grew up in Europe in a very wealthy family. I was born in Belgrade, my mother was Serbian and my dad was Russian. My mom helped people escape the Nazis and she and I were sent to a concentration camp in Austria where we spent about a year when I was around 9. My dad went back to Russia(rocket scientist) and we almost died but were rescued on a truck going to the gas chambers by the Americans. My mom and grandmother and I lived in Salzburg and all over Europe until I came to theUSA in 1952. I married a Broadway actor in 1956 and moved to California in 1960. I got divorced and married my second husband whom I had my children with. He died in 1980 and I married Steve in 1983 and we have been together ever since.

1. Things in life tend to fall into place for lots of people, what were you doing before being introduced into this field of sexuality?

I was being a mom. We were living in the suburbs in Marin County California. I had 4 children born within a year as I had 2 sets of boy/girl twins in less than 13 months. This kept me pretty pretty busy. They were about 3 and 4 when I was introduced by a good friend to Vic Baranco and his philosophy in 1968. I was ready for some fun and so was my husband.

2. I believing finding one’s purpose (what makes you most excited/happy) in life is an amazing journey. Did you ever ask yourself what you really want out of life?

I believe that everyone’s real purpose is to live in the present in the moment in the now with as much enthusiasm as they can muster. Of course I am not always enthusiastically present but being totally alive each moment is my purpose. I also believe that if one can do this with a partner it is even more fun and I am blessed to have chosen such a good buddy and lover. My outer purpose in life is to facilitate others to have more pleasure and better orgasms and to do so one has to be very present; so my inner and outer purposes are supportive of one another.

3. When/how did you decide to pursue sensuality and extended massive orgasms full-time?

I was a student and perceiver of the first public demonstration of what we now call an EMO in 1976 given by Diana Goens and Vic Baranco and decided at that event that I wanted to have that capability and skill and to also to be able to pass it on to others. I became certified in 1980 when I did my first public demonstration.

4. What motivates you?

People with real appetite in learning more about pleasure and who are looking for a way to have more of it in their lives and who show up at my door to smooth the progress of this experience for them are my biggest motivators..

5. Teaching about sexuality requires letting yourself be seen, do you feel like you’ve learned to embrace vulnerability over the years especially since some people may view what you do as taboo?

I’ve been doing this now for over thirty years and we never had a student who thought that what I was doing was wrong or improper or blasphemous. There were a few students who may have been freaked out or overwhelmed but I never felt any negativity toward what I was doing. I am not a nudist per se however I know that the human body is a wonderful and spiritual vehicle that to be seen in its entirety and glory is a profound and beautiful and even a wholly experience.

When I am on stage having an EMO I feel totally at home and protected by my husband Steve who is producing the orgasm. The environment is safe and the doors are locked and no strangers are allowed in. I usually have met all the students in a previous session and have welcomed them to come up and participate by putting their hands on my body as I am in a whole body orgasm. We have a DVD available for purchase on our website www.extendedmassiveorgasm.com and I think only those who are really interested in more pleasure would take the time to watch it.

6. What is your key to relationships?

If one is enthusiastically living their life in the “Now”; then when one relates to another being that is also enthusiastically living in the “Now” the only possibility is a great relationship. We are all responsible for creating our lives and to blame someone else for the “bad” is irresponsible. It is very important to appreciate and acknowledge your partner and to treat them more than well. The more you appreciate anything the more value it takes on in your life. The problems usually turn up when we stop appreciating and acknowledging our partners and then start sneaking and lying to them.

7. What do you find most attractive in men?

I love men who show enthusiasm in the day to day activities of life and specifically in relation to mine. Their willingness to eagerly try something new and which they may even feel inadequate to accomplish.

8. Do you feel like your living your dream?

I love my life!

9. What’s next for you and Steve?

Steve is publishing an ebook on kindle many love poems that he wrote me over the years, called Universe of Love; Poems of Yin and Yang.

Vera and Steve wearing my t-shirts. Check out www.4onelove.com if you like.

10. Words to live by:

“One moment at a time” and “feel your pussy now”

Sex is Sacred

January 27th, 2012 § 1 comment § permalink

Part of me believes sex is sacred but not in a churchy kind of way. I think sexuality is sacred. I think being sensual, experiencing pleasure, sharing orgasms, touching intimately and loving someone is sacred. I think intimacy brings you closer to god because god lives within us. I think sexuality is one of the most amazing experiences that life has to offer with its whirlwind of wonderful emotional peaks and valleys. Sexuality is a way to know a person on a different emotional level. And I have to face the facts: I LoVE Sex.

But I don’t love any kind of sex. I don’t love that I’m drunk, your cute, I kinda know you, let’s do it kinda sex.I prefer passionate sex. I prefer the I love you so fucking much kind of sex. I love that naughty but nice sex…

Point is Last week I came home from school and found a package outside my door. I couldn’t remember ordering anything  until I opened it up and realized what it was: The Illustrated Guide To Extended Massive Orgasm. What?!?! YEs.

The funny thing is most people don’t know a whole lot about sex -the act that creates other people. We grew up with this mushroom cloud surrounding sex. I don’t think that Is the right way to approach sex. Sexuality is something that should be embraced. It is something that should be honored. It is something we all share. In that regard, It never ceases to amaze me how narrow minded we approach education as a society. I believe education is the most important key to success in the world and yet we royally screw it up. Most of my education has come from reading books (not textbooks) and living life because I am a hands on(kinesthetic)learner. I have to do something in order to grasp the entirety of an action. I hope te phase of standardized testing passes with the generations. In its place, if like to see schools should teach children things like meditation, computer science, agriculture, and how to problem solve creatively. Id like to see vertical integration in higher ed. So students could learn how business operate from begginning (research) to end (marketing & sales).  Growing up my parents were amazing. Really I am blessed to have my parents or at less I remind myself of that every time i can’t stand them. The best thing they ever gave me was a love for reading. Unfortunately, there was one thing they never taught me about. That would be SEX. That meant it was left up to the Internet, maxim, and friends stories to fill the void. Luckily, I figured out a few things. But there is still so much l don’t know. So  when I saw this book by Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky I jumped. It was recommended by Tim Ferriss and I had to hav it. I am a hopeless, fairytale type romantic and I want to blame my parents for that. They have a beatiful relationship and love each other. It would be hard to say I don’t want a relationship like theirs. Part of being a hopeless romantic is being an amazing lover. You can’t be good at a great lover if you don’t know anything about it. Thats simple mathematics. In truth, most dudes and some ladies aren’t well trained. I had a friend complain to me about a dude ‘jackhammering’ her and how she just wants guys who know what there doing. What about those people who think you should make out by fencing with you toungue? Whats with that. Get out of my face. I have to use my tongue to block you lest you choke me to death. Its only hillarious because its true.

There is a fundamental lack of good sexual education in this world. That’s why I was so intrigued and excited by this book. Sex is a huge part of everyone’s life. Wether they let it be or not is their choice. Steve and Vera are two people who’ve let sex become their research. They know play. They know teasing.  They know orgasms (apparently Vera had to orgasm for 3 hours strait to receive her degree). For some of us these things are second nature. It wasn’t till after I read the book that i discovered the clitorus is the source for all women’s orgasms (the most sensitive part is at 1:30 on a women’s clitorus). I loved this book because it put the focus back on the women. In all fairness, it’s been all about the dudes orgasm for way too long. Today is for cultural revolution and it’s time to take care of our ladies one orgasm at a time.

“Advice for our female readers: most men truly want to give the women in their lives as much pleasure as they can. If the woman fails to tell him what she likes, if she fails to tell him where she likes it best, If she fails to tell Jim exactly how to touch her to give her the most pleasure, he is able to take her only as high as he already knows how to.

I want to say so true and not sound cliche. The fact is this quote is so true and it applies to both genders.

One of the keys to extended massive orgasms is about letting go. You have to surrender to the moment and trust that your partner is in control. You have to trust they will take good care of you. You have to relax.

“We are each responsible for how much we feel. Phrased another way, we’re each responsible for how much we are willing to surrender our nervous system to leasure.”

Some people in this world are Master Sommalier’s. That means they know more about wine then you ever will. Steve and Vera are Masters de Orgasms. They know so much and are wonderful people. They will teach you things like….

“A sphincter muscle shaped like a figure eight encircles the anis and the vagina ( on a woman) or the base of the penis (on a man). This muscle is used in defecating and urinating. When we tense, we contract and ‘pull up’ this muscle. To reverse the tensing and relax, deliberately push out on the muscle, as though you were goin to the bar room. [pushing out] and [relaxation] are two commands that will help you feel more.”

I’m so glad I read this book because I honestly didn’t realize how important some of the things they talk about are. This book is for women and men so I suggest either of you buy it. They will teach you everything about pleasure,teasing, playing, fantasizing, masturbating, and extended massive orgasms. I was also fortunate enough to touch base with Steve and Vera. I asked  Vera for an interview this week. Check out her interview here.

p.s. I love you

My Happiness Project

January 15th, 2012 § 0 comments § permalink

I just took a 3 week breather where I refused to tell myself what I should do. I find it a great way to decompress from a long year of work. It was a godsend. Seriously.

My Happiness Project

I recently read The Happiness Project. It was a wordy book but had a lot of substance. Gretchen Rubin spent a whole year dedicated to becoming a happier person by doing more of what made her happy. I view life as my own happiness project. After the break I realized there were a few things I needed to reincorporate into my life.

Unplug

Can someone please create an iphone app called Unplug that allows you to ‘lock’ yourself out of your phone for a certain amount of time?

Ever go to a party and notice how people retreat to their phones versus talking to new people? It’s such a social crutch. Wouldn’t it be nice if you walked into a party and their was a phone bowl where everyone put their phone? I would love that. What really inspires me is this new game called Phone Stacking? Apparently some friends were like:

Rando: Dude I fucking hate when people text at dinner when I’m sitting right next to them.

Other Rando: Dude I know.

Rando: Dude let’s make everyone stack their phones on the table whenever we go out to eat and whoever touches their phone first during dinner pays for it all?

Other Rando: Dude that’s like some James Bond Shit.

Social etiquette meet gaming. Gaming meet social etiquette. I love it. I can’t tell you how much I hate  don’t appreciate talking to people while they text on their phones. It’s part of why I want to get rid of mine. My problem is that during  the first part of my breather my family went to Costa Rica. I didn’t look at a screen all week. It was bliss. I also realized I didn’t miss it. I still don’t miss it and I’m writing to you on my mac right now. Learning how to detox from the screen world is so important in a world where technology reigns supreme.

Doing What Feels Good

A friend of mine told me this story. I love to pass it on.

Christianity teaches that death brings eternal life. That heaven awaits you. However, there was once a Christian monk who asked:

What if Earth was the afterlife?

What if Life was death?

What if we are living in heaven?

We did not come into this life to work. We did not come into this life to suffer. We came into this world to experience heaven. We came here to witness the power of our choices and our ability to create. We are here to play, have fun, and experience the divine in all things. As an introvert I can get lost within myself, but I thrive off other people like everyone else. Last semester I felt I did not get out enough. This semester I have made a deal with myself to play more and have fun.

Motion is not Progress

Chatter is everywhere but action stands alone.

It’s said that Steve Jobs had a legendary ability to focus. He could block out all the static that surrounded him and devote all his energy and passion into something. Unplugging is more than fasting from technology, it’s about eliminating all distractions. Lots of people talk. For all of those people, just a handful act on their ambitions. Nobody plans to fails but many fail to plan.

I like to work. Nay I love to work. I love to experience the power I have to make something happen. This past weekend I helped harvest food from the school farm and run the farmer’s market. We made over 300$ for the farm and It was an incredible experience. It saw that commerce is more about community and less about gobbles of profit. It only reinforced my opinion that social good models are the most economically efficient and socially conscious options available to businesses in this new age of life.

4Onelove.com

I’ve sold a few shirts to friends. It’s hard over the holidays to connect with people because everyone is displaced. But I need a plan of action in order to spread my wares. I’m going to work my social circle I to get a grass root movement of sales. I’m going to work to identify blogs that I can send my clothing to in order to garner more attention. And my last goal is to reach out to department stores and see If my work would be something they would like to license. I would love that scenario because It would allow me to direct lots of time at the art while a company handles the distribution. I think positivity belongs in clothing especially when you see huge corporate mistakes such as JCPenny’s Too Pretty to Do Homework t-shirt. So just remember..


model credit: Jason Dardick

8 Steps to Hack Life

December 23rd, 2011 § 3 comments § permalink

It’s About The Journey

Note: If you, the Michael Ellsberg, are reading this…um…AWESOME. Also, I made this video for you as a supplement to my post. I would advise watching it or just listening to the audio as you read about my progress. Namaste.

One day in early October I was surfing the web. I stumbled onto the blog 4 Hour Work Week and immediately read the post 8 Steps to Getting What You Want…Without Formal Credentials. As I’m reading the post I’m thinking to myself, “Holy Fuck this is amazing.” The post was a challenge. A challenge to hack the job market and give yourself the ‘credentials’ you need to succeed. It also came with an additional life-changing perk: a mentorship with Michael Ellsberg.  I had no doubt I was accepting. I called a good friend of mine and made him read the post as well. He was pumped but decided against the work. I was all in. Then I looked up who these guys were. The blog is owned by Tim Ferris who wrote a bestseller, the 4 Hour Work Week, that was ONLY on the best seller’s list for 4 YEARS. I immediately used my amazon student prime shipping account to buy the book -god how I love two day shipping. Then I looked up Michael Ellsberg on amazon and was hooked. One of his book’s is called Why Accidents Are Rarely Accidental. I laughed my ass off when I saw that because how ‘accidental’ was it for my to stumble onto this post. The universe is smart and funny like that. I read up on Michael and one thing that struck me was  how he struggled for a long time with a bipolar disorder before he overcame that to become the person he is today. I assume he shares Habits of Highly Beautiful People. Anyways, this challenge servered as my catalyst to create yilovewomen.com and 4onelove.com. This it about my progress along the journey to conquer 8 Steps to Hack Life.

Step 1: Choose Your New Field of Learning

I choose to discover the nature of personal relationships and  learn how teach other people to live a life based on the principles of….

1. Being Happy

2. Falling in Love

3. Living Your Dream

To understand why I choose this field which allowed me to combine my desires of being a good soul, public speaking, and entrepreneurship, you have to understand what has impacted me most in my life; my relationships with women. See my Dad worked all the fucking time growing up -he’s a lawyer and that’s the nature of the beast. As a result, I really remember spending my childhood with my mom. She is a mensch and brought me up on mottos like kill em with kindness. As a kind soul, I struggled growing up like so many do. I think that came from my struggle to come off as the stereotypical ‘douchebag’ that I thought girls wanted. In middle school through high school, I fell in love with lots of girls but in one way or another I felt alone. My senior year of high school, I learned what it meant to have your breath taken away. I feel in LOVE with this girl. And she broke my heart. It okay thought because it was one of the best things that happened to me. It taught me what It meant to love. It became a catalyst for my own personal transformation. Read more about My Story Here.

Step 2: Showcase Your Learning

The following are the books I read in chronological order over the past three months.

October

November

December

I did my best to read a book each week. It was a busy semester with school (my major is Horticulture which is amazing), work, and life. I choose to read books that described each lesson that I’ve learned along my journey. I’m what they call a closet wallflower. I was the kid who cried at night growing up because I was so sensitive to what people said to me at school. I’m the kid who has trouble socializing in groups but if you engage me one-on-one, I may come off as the next George Clooney. I am the kid who can philosophize with you about life day and night. A lot of the learning in a way has already been done. To be a public speaker I feel you should have lived three phases: the turmoil/suffering, the personal transformation, and the accomplishment of a dream. I felt like I had lived the turmoil and personal transformation. Now, I am finding my voice and taking action to make my dream a reality.

Step 3: Learn the Basics of Good Networking

                           +plus+

Step 6: Develop Relationships With Mentors

I combined these steps because I think they go hand in hand. What I choose to do was interview women who were successful, inspiring, and could offer a mentorship like relationship. You have to work with the hand you are dealt and I did my best to play my cards right.

Y I Love: Sarah Pledger

That week I was writing about living your dream. And I had a thought that I should interview Sarah Pledger. She is a friend of mine whom I look up to and would ask for advice about anything fitness related. But what makes her so fascinating is that she is a tri-athlete and has a great story. Not only is she this insanely fun, energetic and awesome athlete, but she quit the corporate world to go back to school and pursue her true passions. That takes balls.

Y I Love: Carie Garrett

That week I was writing about vulnerability.I originally tried to get in touch with Ellen Brown who is an author/professor in Houston but it didn’t work out. So I sat down to think about who else knows vulnerability. The name Carie Garrett came to mind. I interviewed Carie because she is my yoga teacher and she often speaks to us in class about vulnerability. She is a wise and beautiful person who I am proud to call my friend.

Y I Love: Rachel Goldberger

My next interview is going to be with Rachel Goldberger. I tried to set it up for this week (I came home from finals) but she has a lot going down. My Dad helped put me into touch with Rachel because I needed advice on clothing lines and everything that goes into that business. Rachel is that used to be a clothing buyer and now has her own clothing line. You can read about her in an old article I found on the Wall Street Journal.

Step 4/5/6/7

Start Working for Free, Learn Sales, Sell and Deliver Your Services Within Your Social Economy

I think my progress is between these steps. I have not started working for free unless you count creating art as free labor. I am trying to learn sales because I am now attempting to sell my services as an entrepreneur. I would love to have booked a public speaking gig by now but I have not. I have ‘launched’ my positive and empowering clothing line at 4onelove.com. I think part of what will help grow my brand with time is that the company is based on a social entrepreneurship model. It is designed to one day take it’s profits and invest them in a beach resort. This beach resort will be in a tropical country (think: Honduras, Ecuador, Guatemala) and will use it’s profits to build houses for employees, schools for children, and provide funds for sustainable energy. Who wouldn’t want to go on vacation and support a good cause? The world is changing. New business models are emerging. New way of thinking are evolving. We are in the midst of a global revolution. I would like my work to serve as a model that business can empower everyone. And I’m going to do everything I can to make it happen.

Thank you

For all the things I have been blessed with in life, the one I cherish most is perspective. God/the universe/life/whatever you call it has taught me to cherish everything because you never know if tomorrow will come. I am grateful I wake up in the mornings and I am grateful that you issued this challenge. I would be honored to become your friend and learn from you. Either way, you have already helped me to learn a lot about myself. Happy Holidays!

Habits of Highly Beautiful People

December 21st, 2011 § 2 comments § permalink

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. Beautiful are made.

Last week I had finals for school and I didn’t post anything. This week I read two books. The first was Nothing Left Over. I felt like I was listening to a kindred spirit as I read this beautiful memoir by Toinette Lippe. As a spiritual book editor and founder of Bell Tower publishing, she shares her lifetime of wisdom that she has accumulated. When I put down her book I thought to myself, “She is a beautiful person.”

Then I read Ignore Everybody. It’s one of the Best books I’ve read. It’s short, sweet, and hilariously philosophical. Hugh Macleod started doodling on the back of business cards 10 years ago. He eventually started a blog called Gaping Void that turned into this book.

If you asked me to describe my best friends I would say they have good hearts and kind souls. My best friends are beautiful people on the inside and it is that internal light I am attracted to most in people. When you radiate love it brightens up your world and that of others. When I was thinking about all of this I soon realized all the previous posts I’ve written were designed to help you become not just a better person but a beautiful human being. Beautiful people are happy, engaged and in love with life.  They live their dreams while leading from the heart. These two beautiful people have inspired me to introduce to you…

The Habits of Highly Beautiful People

They Speak from their Heart

I find that beautiful people speak their mind. They live from the heart and speak from the soul. These are the people who mean what they say. My advice?

Find your voice.

“Put your whole self into it, and you will find your true voice. Hold back  and you won’t. It’s that simple.” (I.E.)

When you express yourself from your heart you automatically give that expression meaning. In Hugh’s book he mentions that meaning scales, people don’t. We can all connect with something that is meaningful because we know what it’s like to care for stuff that is meaningful to us.

“I decided to stop living my work and start living my life.” (N.L.O)

If all you do is live your work when will you ever enjoy your life? Life is but a moment, a passing gift. The question is are going to live it, are you going to tell others how you feel, or are you going to let it pass you by?

They Ignore Everybody 

“Why is it that we yearn to be more or other than we are? It so rarely occurs to us that what we are looking for may be –indeed, always is—already within us, simply undiscovered.” (N.L.O)

Beautiful people ignore everyone. They dance in the rain, speak out in crowds, fall on their faces, and do it all with a smile on their face. They don’t give a s#it because they have no shame. They IGNORE EVERYONE.

The best way to get approval is not to need it. Power is never given. Power is taken. (I.E.)

The reason you should ignore everyone is that “they don’t know your World one millionth as well as you know your world” (I.E.). Pressuring yourself to be the square peg in the round hole is a useless waste of time. Know yourself and know the power of individuality.

“The more original your idea is, the less good advice other people will be able to give you” (I.E.)

They Know How Much is Enough

True wealth comes from good health and wise ways

An example of that testament is a man who just donated 350 million dollars. This man is noted for being unimpressed with what his wealth can buy him. I think that is admirable because after a certain accumulation of wealth the question becomes: how much is enough? In a way, there is no difference between what you can do with one million, ten million, or one hundred million dollars besides decide between a bigger mansion, bigger boat, or nicer car. With that kind of money you should be living a comfortable existence. That is not to say wealth is a bad thing. Wealth is to be valued, however; the old adage money can’t buy you happiness still rings true today. Nonetheless, it is a travesty that the cost of living in this world is so high that most people exist in poverty.

“In order to get back to the essentials, we must first identify what they are. Only then are we in a position to do something bout them. What follows is not so much about what needs to take place at the physical level […] as what goes on in the mind….the work has to be done on the inside. Each time you drop an old attitude or habit, it is like spring cleaning: more space becomes available. There is room to move about and examine the situation from a new perspective and everything feels freer and lighter.” (N.L.O)

Knowing your limits doesn’t just apply to monetary wealth. Monetary wealth affords you peace of mind. Personal relationships offer you the true currency of life: memories. For those of us who don’t want to be ascetic buddhist monks, we find the greatest joy in fun, intimate and loving relationships. To have good relationships, we have to accept others for who they are. We have to acknowledge their journey and our place in it.

“We have to guard against not becoming rigid. Flexibility offers the slender tree the freedom to sway in the wind, and so it is with us.” (N.L.O)

“I simply want enough. Although ‘Less is more” sounds as though it is a way of cutting back, of returning to simplicity, it contains the subtle message that if you have less, you will receive more. It is still a promise that more is better.” (N.L.O)

Toinette goes on to share a personal anecdote about a visit to Cuba and how they people were happy with what they had which was just enough to get by each day. In some ways I admire the irony of poverty because when you have less that means you tend to spend more of your time listening to music, being with family, friends, and making memories.

“ It is not the number and diversity of our possessions that are the problems but out attachment to them.” (N.L.O)

They Live in the Moment 

“Whatever we give our attention to grows, so we should know what that is. It may be fear, loneliness, anxiety…”

This is a classic testament to the law of attraction. Use your thoughts wisely for they create your reality for better or worse.

“Most of us walk down the street with our attention neither on the activity of walking nor on the windows of the stores we are passing […] we are simply lost in thought, rehearsing something that happened…something we would like to happen…or going through a mental checklist”

Beautiful people cherish where they are. They let go of control and allow the world to fall in place. They see the shadows behind them and the light at the end of the tunnel, yet somehow always manage to bask in the glory of the moment. The only way you can enjoy the moment it to address your attitude. It is up to you to decide how you will perceive the present. Beautiful people live for the moment. They care for their attitude by doing more of what makes them happy. Beautiful people are witnesses.

“Witnessing has to do with transparency, seeing through the scrim that generally covers things and looking deeply into them so that we know and understand what they truly are. When God says, “Ye are my witnesses,” it means that the role of human beings is to know divinity and to know it now. We are here to see and experience God in all things”

They Value Truth

“I told him that not only was it the right thing to do but it was also the simplest. Once you tell someone a lie, you had to remember whom you had said what to and hope that this person would never interact with anyone to whom you had told a different tale” (N.L.O.)

Beautiful people can’t lie to themselves and lie to others. It is too hard. We are all searching for truth in life. Lies just make everything ten times harder. Truth is alignment between your thoughts, word and actions. When we value truth, we are at peace inside no longer fighting to contain the lies.

I went to Austin with a friend the weekend before finals to host him. He’s applying to their graduate school of music and had to audition so we crashed at the AEPi fraternity (if you are a brother of AEPi they are obligated to give a place to crash). When we got to the house we were making small talk. Someone asked me if I went to Mizzou -that’s where I was expelled- and I said, “No, I’m in graduate school at Texas A&M.” I did that so because I didnt want to bring up being kicked out of school. That night served as a reminder of how much of a pain in the ass it is to lie because people asked me if I knew so and so b/c I was their age.

They Live With Passion 

Passion is something that can’t be bought nor sold. Beautiful people know this. They also know you are responsible for your own experience. You create your own destiny. Life is a game of cards. The hand you’ve been dealt is determinism. The way you play it is free will. That was analogy was by the original Prime Minister of India Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. The point is your destiny is shaped by your passion or lack thereof for whatever you do to get by over the course of your life. When a person is passionate, when they are driven, when they really want to accomplish something, they become a passionlete.

“Doing anything worthwhile takes forever. 90% of what separates successful people and failed people is time, effort, and stamina.” (I.E)

I imagine a passionlete as the I-have-a-real-life version of people who run ultramarathons. To run ultramarathons requires an incredible amount of mental discipline, stamina, and desire. To do anything successful, requires sacrifices. So go ahead and build yourself an alter. If you want something bad enough you do what is needed to get it done.

“The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it’s going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative I one of the most amazing experiences one canhave, in this or any other lifetime.Even if you don’t end up pulling it off, you’ll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things.” (I.E.)

Passion is about character. Passion is about the moment. Passion is about desire. Passion drives people to do crazy things and those crazy things change the world.

“If you make something special and powerful and honest and true, you will succeed.” (I.E.)

There are many people who equate success with fame. But what does it mean to be famous? I asked that question to one of my best friends the other night. Technically, it means to be well known. We were debating our values versus the values of the American culture because we look up to people who are intelligent and impact the world by doing social good. We don’t value the sheen of the celebrity gossip culture and the values it promotes. He started to mention how he sees every person as his equal. I replied that I feel like in the eye of God we are all famous. So now matter what you do, do it will passion. Give your all and leave nothing left over. For even if it seems like no one cares or notices, I believe there is always someone watching over you.

Nothing Left Over

So part of the process with my blog is to document how I live my philosophy. I am happy and in love because I have worked on transforming myself. I’m now working on my dream. Part of living my dream has been to use this semester to bring one of my dreams to life. After my apartment burned down last semester, I wanted to find some new t-shirts that were positive and inspiring. Unfortunately, when I searched google I couldn’t find anything. While working over the summer I spend a lot of my free time drawing. Towards the end of the summer when I had a decent portfolio of stuff I thought this stuff would be cool to put on t-shirts. No one does inspiring shirts with cartoons. So why not me?  One day my cousin sent me a link to Krochet Kids. Their business model is based on empowering female entrepreneurs in Africa and it’s wonderful.After the process started with the blog, my vision started shaping into place. I would create this clothing line that would inspire. But it wouldn’t just be a regular corporation. The vision would be to make enough money to buy/build a beach resort in a tropical country. This beach resort would then make money. However, it’s profits would be used to develop a city. It would build houses for employees, a school for the city, and pay for maintenance of the town. It would change the model for how we do business and how we empower others in life. After a certain amount of money, you no longer worry about surviving. I call this thriving but too many others live day to day surviving. The goal is to show the world everyone can thrive so none just have to survive. And I will do everything I can to make it happen.

p.s. I Love You

Communication is the Key to Relationships

November 28th, 2011 § 2 comments § permalink

 I will scream at the top of my lungs until u hear me
Not with your ears
But with your hearts
For when you listen with your heart
You open your mind
You open the door of possibilities
So I won’t tell you what that everything is ok
 ‘ll tell you what you need to hear
So when you look in the mirror
You shine from within

Communication. Communciaton. Communication.

Communication is what location is to real estate. It’s everything. Communication is the most important part of a relationship.

I would know. As an introvert, I used to be terrible at communication. I internalized everything and in return I suffered. Once I started to embrace vulnerability, my communication with friends, family, and others thrived for I no longer had no fear.

Communication is something we do all the time and yet so many of us struggle at the most basic of skills. That’s why it’s important to identify how we are limiting ourselves, so we can learn to effectively communicate our truest desires.

This past week I read Loving in the Moment by Gina Lake. It’s premise is about moving from the ego to essence in relationships. It’s a spiritually based book which unfortunately reads like old bread.

The positive things I took away were that it was focused on how we communicate. She delved into key topics like expectations, needs, and wants -which is also known as the elephant in the room when we fail to communicate.

So I must beg the question….

Why can’t we all just get Along?

If I had it my way we would all get along. But we don’t. My dad likes to remind me that conflict can be a good thing. He’s right. Conflict CAN be a good thing IF we talk through the cause of our conflicts. Too many people swallow their tongues and let things simmer.

On the other hand, sometimes we say things we don’t mean to say. That’s life. The questions is what are you going to do after that happens? Are you going to grow a pair, embrace the cause of your conflict/agony, and work through the problem?

I brought up how bad people are at communicating with my uncle the other day. He told me this story,” I work with this bitch, okay. She’s gross and I hate her. Our conversations are short, sometimes they last ten seconds. But it’s great because I always know where she stands.” Whether its relationships, politics, or business the world’s biggest problems stem from an inability of people to communicate with each other.

Do you ever notice people get into fights over the dumbest s#it?

Me too!!

Most people fight about some perceived slight.  They then proceed to complain, explain, and analyze this problem with everyone EXCEPT the person they have an issue with. WHY?!?!?!?!!? It drives me nuts. Go talk to the person you have beef with. Jesus Christ people. It’s not as hard as you want it to be. I like to think if you love or like someone (wife, boss, girlfriend, brother, cousin, mom, dad, etc) you would do almost anything for them. So why can’t we?

 Fearing vulnerability

~Souls are Softer than Whispers~

I used to be horrible at communicating because I was afraid to communicate the truth I held within me. Everyone’s afraid. It’s not a unique experience. You are not alone.

In order to be great at communication you have to be vulnerable. You have to. There is no exception. Read this if you need help.

A real relationship requires the construction a bridge. Two people meet, greet, and choose to pour a foundation. This bridge is built from two sides and requires you to meet each other half way. Otherwise, the relationship will never work out. Building a bridge is intimate because you do it together. An intimacy is all about vulnerability. I’m not talking about sex. That’s what everyone thinks when intimacy comes to mind. I guess most people are either horny most of the time or ignorant to the state of reality. All of my relationships are intimate. When my friends tell me, “Man, I don’t have friendships like this. We don’t talk about stuff like this. My other friends don’t get it.” That’s intimacy. Intimate relationships happen when two people let themselves be seen. No mask, agenda, or motive. It’s kind of like being naked but not.

Guess what?

I even have science on my side. In 2010 there was a UCLA study published in the journal Psychological Science which showed that people who have more meaningful conversations than conversations based around small talk are happier.

Go figure.

When I was afraid to be vulnerable…I came off as shady. I played games in ‘romantic’ relationships so I could have the power. I learned the hard way that by playing games all you really do is hurt yourself. Nobody wins with games so I quit. The players been played and he ain’t playin no more. I can’t do it to myself. Games are a mask. I used them as a cover to protect myself because i was scared. Scared of really falling in love because as a guy I was never ‘taught’ that was okay. It’s why I don’t talk with other dudes about this stuff. And that’s the problem. Guys can’t be told to keep it all pent up. You keep all those emotions in and you become ice cold.

I wish we could foster an environment where we all felt safe to communicate. Until then you have to foster than environment within yourself.

The Curse of Expectations

You can’t always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

~Rolling Stones~

We all expect the world on a silver platter but you can’t always get what you want. Expectations are a form of illusion that we use to measure ourselves. Expectations don’t just impact our own self-confidence, they impact our relationships with the people we value most.

“Most of the friction in relationships in caused by wanting our partner to be a certain way. We want our partner to talk a certain way, walk a certain way, kiss a certain way, cook a certain way, dress a certain way, drive a certain way, and take care of the house a certain way” (L.I.T.M.)

Your romantic partner, friend, or waiter from lunch is not here to care for and meet all your needs. They are here to compliment your journey in life. Expecting your friends or significant others to act a certain way or do things to please you isn’t going to magically happen. It’s also unfair. Let’s play the imagination game.

Imagine…

You are at a restaurant. Your waiter  walks up and ask what you would like to drink. Naturally you respond unless of course you’re deaf. You didn’t expect your waiter to read your mind do you? Why not? Because he can’t.

NEITHER CAN YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/MOM/DAD/SISTER/BROTHER/BFF

“Part of developing a healthy relationship is learning to let go of expectations and just be present with our [friends, partner, family] in the moment. Happiness and fulfillment in comes from being present without expectations, ideas, memories, and other conditioning muddying and distorting the experience” (L.I.T.M.)

We All Have Needs

I know you want telepathic friends and lovers but your s#it out of luck.

No one can read your mind.

It is really hard for all of us to understand that. We want people to read our minds because it would make things easier. It’s also easier to follow in line than to start a new one. It’s why people don’t deviate from the norm. If you have a need, express it. You have to communicate with people what you expect, what you want, and what you need. Your needs can’t be met if the person on the receiving end isn’t getting a phone call.

Give Your Attention

How often do you give someone your full, undivided, no texts/calls/or emails attention?

Rarely. How can I be so confident?

I usually call my parents once per week. I know they miss me and since they have given me everything life has to offer, it’s the least I can do. But when I call them I don’t always give my mind to them. I don’t give them my attention. I’ll listen for a few minutes and before I know it my mind trails off into the woods. If I can’t listen to them why should they listen to me? A gift is something that comes without strings attached. It is offered freely. When I don’t give my attention to what they have to say I feel cheated. I feel cheated out of the moment because I’ve become absorbed in illusions and notions that my mind is carrying on about. Listening is on of the most beautiful things you can give someone. If someone can’t tell you what you need to hear, shame on them. If you haven’t listened to what someone has said, shame on you.

 Let’s Talk about Sex

There are two types of sex. You can have sex or you can make love.

Having sex is based purely on the physical interaction. The sex becomes something to consume, it becomes a commodity. Having sex does not require intimacy or any type of relationship for that matter. I refuse to knock people who just want to “have sex” because that is evolutionary. That’s how humanity has grown. Sex is essentially the body responding to stimulation. And some people, feelings be damned, just want to get the sheets dirty. Respect them so they can respect you. I believe that when sex is casual, both parties are cheated out of something that’s meant to be incredible.

“When love infuses the sexual experience, then sex becomes a fulfilling and meaningful experience” (L.I.T.M)

Making love is another story. First off, it’s amazing. Secondly, it’s like this slow motion world where you can express your feelings on a deeper level. Foreplay,  People who love each other make love.  Making love is an intimate experience. It’s like looking into another’s soul. It is linking with someone in such a way that you know there deepest desires and fears.

Sex is one of the most vulnerable things we can do as people. Trusting someone with you mind, body, and soul is sacred. But sex can be many things to many people. That’s why we have to communicate with the people were romantically intimate with. Your fantasies and kinky desires have to come out of the closet.

We can’t read each others mind but we can COMMUNiCATE what we want. If your kinky and want to try something new in bed. Talk about it. Be adults. If the other doesn’t want to ask them why? Too many relationship fails because one person is expecting the other to fill in the blanks. A relationship is NOT a cross-word puzzle. And sometimes you have to remind your partner of that..

And if we don’t communicate?

People Cheat

Why?

One word: Space.

Why do we cheat? Why do we cross that line of no return? I believe the common denominator is a breakdown in communication. We stop telling each other everything. We create space between one another and now we’re distant. We no longer know each other.  When that starts to happen you see cracks in the foundation of your bridge. Before you know it, that little wedge of space has become a house divided. Space makes people look to others for answers. The only answer is to communicate.

The Power of I’m Sorry

Do whatever you have to do, to get it out and not become a reaction memory
To hurt the ones you love you know you never meant to but you do

oh yeah you do

Be whoever you have to be, I won’t judge you
Sing whatever you have to sing to get it out and not become a recluse about how to come out

~Sway by The Kooks~

I can’t stand it when people give up so easily. People take all this time to create friendships, learn about each other, share secrets, and make babies. Then they rush to throw it all away the moment something gets in the way. In a way, I get it. Being lied to/cheated on/ignored is devastating. It hurts where you’re most vulnerable. That person you were close to dropped you like a hot potato. That doesn’t mean you can’t put on some gloves and hold on to that potato. Too many of us run from our problems instead of facing them head on. If you really care you will do what it takes to make a friendship/relationship work.

‎”Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we’re mad at people, we’re angry because of something they said or did before this moment. By letting go of the past, we make room for miracles to replace our grievances”
- Marianne Williamson

Communication boils down to trusting yourself with your true emotions. You have to communicate with yourself what you really want. Then you can communicate with another.

 p.s. I love you

Y I Love: Carie Garrett

November 23rd, 2011 § 1 comment § permalink

I want to be living my reality and not my dream. I feel like I’ve been living a dream my whole life and now im starting to finally live ~Carie Garrett~

Last week I covered Vulnerability. So naturally I sat down to talk vulnerability and life with my yoga teacher Carie Garrett.

Yoga is not a spectator sport. It’s about going within yourself and connecting with your mind, body, and soul. At the heart of yoga lies vulnerability. That’s why yoga teachers rock.  For better or worse, a majority of yoga teachers live in a sea of vulnerability. That’s why I wanted to talk with Carie. She transforms crazy and awesome into a world of loving zen where you can just be you.

The Interview

Carie and I kicked it for a good hour. The following is our philosophy session.

A Little Background

Was I always a yoga teacher? No, I’ve not always been a yoga teacher. I’ve been a yoga teacher for 12 years or so. But I think I was on the path of spirituality as long as I could remember. And having that feeling of not always fitting into my churches or the world of religion as it was taught to me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been seeking out a deep meaning of things.

Jump in The Pond

Shrek’s not the only ogre that has layers. We all have layers. It’s like an infinite depth, a well that never ends. 

Me: You think about being vulnerable. What makes me happy? What do I want to do with my life? What is my dream? What kind of person do I want to fall in love with? What do you think it takes to be happy?

Carie: Well for me, I’ve learned it doesn’t take anything out there. That’s what my whole life has been about. Looking out there. Looking out there. Looking in this slice. Door opening. Going through that door. Ok, no it’s not there, it’s not there. I think it takes self-love, for me. It might be different for everybody else. For me, It’s loving me, being happy with all of it and being vulnerable about it. The good. The bad. It’s all learning, nothings for naugh, even the experiences we don’t like. Somehow it’s all there to help and that’s what it is for me. I feel very joyful. Some days I’m sad of course but I do feel very happy. I feel very blessed. I have a great life, great family, wonderful husband. You know that’s what it is for me. Self-love which sounds egocentric on the one hand or narcissistic, but for someone like me whose come from a lifetime and maybe lifetimes probably, of putting myself down, of thinking I’m not worth anything for not fitting into these parameters other people have set for me; for me to come around and go ya I’m beautiful, I’m valuable, I have gifts to share that’s sort of like acknowledging the reality. It’s not egocentric. It’s not I’m so great. It’s like ya this is me. This is who I am.

Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus

Carie: This is part of my theory, I’ve just kind of put this together. You know like I was saying [guys] not allowEd to do any girly things because it’s sissy. So guys, boys, shut off their contact with girls who were helping them to feel, to emote, etc. Then the next time [guys] come into contact with girls is after puberty and all that where girls are suddenly all about sexuality. So, this is just my take on it, boys at that time are looking at porn, their looking at all kinds of stuff like that, forming their ideals of…oh this is how women are, oh this is how girls are. It’s just so backwards. It’s just so messed up. Instead of having these deep connections with women, it’s only about sex. And you see that.

Me: The amazing thing is girls always talk to each other about their feelings. For guys that’s shunned. That’s part of why I write yilovewomen.com. That’s who I write towards. That’s what we’ve been boxed into as dudes. Dude, dude, shut up, why are talking about your feelings, your gay man. That line is just drilled into you.

Carie: It’s sad. Or the whole thing about something stupid: Oh, that’s so gay. My son came home, in fifth grade maybe, came home one day and was complaining about something and said: Oh, that’s so gay. Uh, let me give a little lesson here. I proceeded to tell him you know all of our friends who were gay, people who arn’t comfortable with their own sexuality say that, and he was all O wow and never thought of sexuality the same way again. But ya, they do say that. It’s sad. It’s tragic.

Me: And the disconnect. Next week I’m going to write about communication. [The thing] is that, I never knew from girls what they wanted, I didn’t know I was even supposed to communicate with them about that stuff. I didn’t know how to when I got certain point. And I, bless my life, grew up pretty much with my mom and my sister. And I hung out with lot of girls and had a lot of good relationships and stuff. But still, I went through that adolescent phase. I just, you become disconnected from having any realm of significant conversation.

Letting Herself Be Seen

Me: Being vulnerable is about coming inside and building up this wall of I am good, I am great, and because we’ve made it impossible for anyone to accept anyone for who we are people are just disconnected.

Carie: I’ve been into this idea for a couple years now is the idea of seeing and being seen. Letting myself be seen and be willing to see someone else. Like were here talking. I’m looking at you. I’m looking at you, you know what I mean?. I’m not judging, I’m not making all these things. I’m trying to see the clear you. And I’m letting you see the real me. That’s like what vulnerability is. We connect on this beam. It’s like namaste. It’s like um, the two that are one. It’s total intimacy which has nothing to with sex. It’s about connecting with another. So that’s what I think vulnerability is too. Seeing and then letting myself be seen. In the yoga world we talk about that a lot, seeing through the appearance. Being willing to look through the appearance of  what’s there so that you can what’s really there. But if you don’t let someone do that to you, then, you know, it’s still not vulnerability. That’s a big part of it for me these days. Letting myself be seen. It’s hard….

The following is from later in the interview. You’ll notice the pace of discussion changes a bit

Carie: I’ve had a lot of hard stuff the last couple months with vulnerability. Oh man, letting myself be seen. This whole feathered pipe thing. Did you hear about my getting the invitation to teach in Montana?…..It’s exciting but it’s like Wow. Suddenly, it’s all over the internent. Suddenly, I’m way seen. It’s impossible to hide now really, kind of, where as hiding is a lot easier.

Me: Um, I mean, I think you’re pretty boss as a yoga teacher. And talking it out. And you do talk it out at yoga. Like, you tell everybody what’s up…

Carie: I do. If I’m going through stuff I’ll talk about it in class. I always bring it in there. I always talk about it. I like that. I like when a teacher’s real. Especially in the yoga world, there is such a ridiculous facade that everybody’s got it figured out. O…I’m the yoga teacher and I’m telling you how to live your life. You know what I mean? That’s so ridiculous. The yoga world is a microcosm of it all. There’s so much fear. There’s so many people being fake. There’s all that stuff too.

Me: All my yoga teachers have been women. But never like that image of like I have it figure out in any way.

Carie: Ya and I just really appreciate it when someone is real and authentic. I think that helps me learn when I see, ya o wow. The teacher is feeling these real things. These are actual, real things for me to be feeling.

Me: Real feelings…We all have them.

Carie: This whole thing about letting the emotions through. That’s part of who we are. Instead of being caught up in our heads and everything mental and ah…It’s weird. So much energy put out to be invulnerable. So much energy put out to put on the coat and the clothes. And we wonder why we’re sick. We wonder why were tired. We wonder why we’re dispirited.

Me: Why do you have that cold? Is it because your sick or is it because you sick of doing what you’re doing?

Carie: I’ll tell you what. I’ve always heard my teacher say that death would be a thing of the past, illness would be a thing of the past. When I first started hearing that, I thought that’s ridiculous. Death comes to you. Illnesses come to you. I realized what I was doing. It’s the victim mentality. You’re a victim of the flu. You get the flu. You get the cold. It just comes and attacks you. Well since I’ve been working on my recovery. Since March of 2010. So a year and a half now. I haven’t been sick, at all. I used to get sick once every couple weeks. I realized I was drawing that to myself, so I could get the sympathy or attention I wanted. When I started getting that within my own self, I didn’t need to draw that to myself anymore. That’s huge.

I agree.

What’s Next?

As a now nationally recognized freedom style yoga teacher, Carie is leading her first yoga retreat this upcoming summer. It’s Montana from June 9-15. You can check out her workshop and more pictures of Feather Pipe Ranch here.

Words to Live By

As we say in class

The light within me, Honors the light within you.

Namaste

What I Really Want in a Woman

November 15th, 2011 § 1 comment § permalink

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within”

~elisabeth kubler-ross~

So this week is about communication. As a segway to merge the worlds of vulnerability and communication, I thought I would get vulnerable and communicate what I really want. I know most of us have grown up being exposed to the ‘images‘ of what we ‘should’ want. I’m here to tell you as a confident, attractive dude: the media doesn’t know jack s#it. Sorry :(

(Side rant: The media is a for-profit entertainment business. If the media were to really be about informing others, it should have to operate as a non-profit based on the assumption that distributing truthful information would be corrupted by the motive for profit. OMG! that’s already happened.)

I want Beauty

I love women. And I really love women who are real, confident, smart, fit, sexy and beautiful. It’s easy to stereotype words with connotations so let me explain.Physical beauty to me is like an egg shell. It may look nice -very, very nice- on the outside but the question is what happens when you crack the egg open? Is it rotten or fresh?

I am an attractive dude. It’s a fact. Or perhaps I just believe it so. I’m also a very sensitive soul. I see people through the eyes of inner beauty. All my life I’ve been able to see through people. I don’t know exactly how to describe this but I know how it feels. I’m sure many of you, in your own way, know what I mean. I believe all traits of beauty arise from self-love. And beauty wether inner or outer is something to be celebrated. As Dove chocolate likes to remind me, “Beauty is a source of self-confidence”. The universe too prizes beauty. For example, take all of nature. You never go outside, take a look around , and think, “man, nature sure is dirty today, I wish it would clean this mess up.” Nature is stunningly beautiful and harmonious. And we are part of nature. Therefore, we are naturally beautiful. I say naturally because too many of us sound like an instrument out of tune. We are not in harmony with ourselves. When we are, we shine bright. I’m drifting……

I want Intelligence

Intelligence seems to be a rare commodity in today’s world. If you’ve got it rock it. I love smart women. I want a smart woman. Books are hot. So are opinions. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  

Sad thing is a lot of society’s ills can be directly traced to ignorance.

Overhyped, overstimulated, overly entertained, upgraded, and downloaded. We’ve got it all except for the wisdom to realize when we’ve gone astray. For a majority of women the conditioning (some may call this brainwashing) of the celebrity/gossip culture has created this segment of society that feels the need to judge themselves against the lives of others. I can understand looking up to people who are successful, happy, & wealthy. It gives you an image that you desire to achieve in your own life. But in a world where no one can be accepted, I place my bets that the average women from this culture dosen’t see things through that lens. Example: I was disheartened one day riding the bus to class. Three girls were chatting and one brings up her entomology class – aka bug science- and how much she liked it. Then she apologizes to her friends cuz “it’s like really nerdy”. I wanted to shake her like no it’s cool. Learning is cool. Have thoughts about stuff.  It’s interesting. Being a bimbo not so much. There are too many women in this world who don’t understand that. It’s like those rail thin models who get photoshopped. People don’t like that, seriously they don’t. Be smart, it’s sexy. If not I am less likely to befriend you, get coffee with you, listen to you, stare at the stars with you, or make love with you.

I want you to Be Real

I can smell a rotten egg across the room. Dive headfirst into vulnerability and be yourself. I bet you love the most comfortable clothes you have. They fit just right. Real people smell, taste, and touch like comfortable clothes. You just want to bask in their presence.

I want Sexiness

Sexiness is defined as the quality or condition of being sensual. Sexiness requires you to be comfortable and vulnerable with your body. I love women who are sexy because they have come to terms with the fact they are sexual beings. Sexuality is sacred, fun, and full of passion. Our sexuality should not be repressed in life, however; it is unfortunate that sexuality has become commercialized, packaged, and marketed towards women too young to understand it. I respect a women who is sexy and knows what she wants.

I want Confidence

I love confidence in a women. I’m talking about the confidence that comes from accepting yourself as a person, embracing your faults, and cherishing all your strengths. A huge part of confidence is attitude. If your a confident women, you are most likely a positive women. In this life attitude is everything. Example: Your driving your car to work in the morning. You have to take the highway. You running 5 minutes behind schedule so you are a tad flustered. You hit the on ramp and are welcomed to parking lot view of traffic slowed to a turtle’s crawl. You now have two choices. Here is where attitude comes into play.

You can…

A. stress out and curse at the traffic

or

B. you can turn on some music and wait it out

Either way your probably a little lat. What matters is whether your late and angry vs. late and happy. It will make a huge difference in your day. That was my tangent and I hope you got the point.

Sometimes it can be hard being a beautiful, confident women. Why? Guys are intimidated. So you know what maybe you should hit on a guy sometime. Open up, I know I wouldn’t mind. Sometimes I get frustrated because I think women are intimidated by me. I pretty sure I’ve met too many women won’t take me seriously cuz they assume I’m a player.

I want a Fit Woman

There is more to fitness than just being fit. You only have one body. When women/people stay fit, it show that they honor what they we’re given. Fitness is spiritual. Being fit shows confidence that you like to take care of your body. It shows empowerment because you have taken control of your body. It shows sexiness because you look and feel gooood. And it shows intelligence because being healthy requires cognitive functioning.

I personally love the look of the bikini fitness model.  Based on just physicality alone, that’s I find most attractive. I think bikini/fitness models appear supremely confident and gorgeous. I assume they realize that muscle burns more fat. That’s the key to staying thin ladies, lift weights.

That’s all I wrote, there ain’t anymore.

Addendum: I Love Fun

F is for friends we do stuff together
U is for you and me
N is for anywhere, anytime at all down in the deep blue sea.

~Spongebob Squarepants~

I forgot to include what I consider most important: having fun. I want someone who I can go dance with, laugh with, and roll in the dirt with. I think one of the best barometers to use if you must judge someone is to look at how often they smile. I believe in surrounding myself with positive, uplifting people; so it’s natural for me to want someone who is happy as well. I want someone who brings warmth and happiness to the table- I think it’s safe to say we all do.

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry I have high expectations. I’m sorry I want someone who is beautiful, strong, confident, complex, deep, passionate, fun, and interesting. I’m sorry I want someone who has her own ambitions and goals in life.  I’m sorry I want it all. Actually, you know what? I’m not. I’m not sorry. It does not serve anyone by being small. I’m tired of everyone shrinking from the light within them. I’m pointing my fingers at all you celebrities, tech moguls, politicians, and everyday people. I’m pointing at myself in the mirror each day as a reminder it’s time we all communicate with one another what we truly want.

p.s. I love you

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